Monday, June 9, 2008

cheer me up. i am cheered.

My brain has something like a low buzz - a hum - going on inside. The noise of high voltage wires when you are in a quiet enough area to hear their sound.
It is the buzz of possibilities, but it is the smoothness of relaxation. It is an excitement and anticipation of something that I do not know. But the relaxation being there is unison is a bit odd. Smooth is the only word I can think of to describe it.
My brain is having problems concentrating on objects, people, places, things, but I do not seem to have a problem in thinking of the adjectives to describe those things. Although maybe I can not think of the *perfect* adjective.
Did you rub my lamp? Did you wake me up? Did you bring me here?

Why did you bring me here? Why start it if you are not going to follow through. There is never a finish. Why put out the advertisement if you never plan on purchasing or selling it? Abstraction.
Make sure that the love you offer up does not fall on barren soil.

"The soil is not barren, but it's mine."

So prone to worshiping I am on the one hand, and so completely vehemently against it on the other. And so let down so easily, but lifted up as easily at times it seems.

"love me, and cheer me up
show me you're the one who can make me happy
cheer me up, c'mon and cheer me up
I don't wanna spend the rest of my days in yesterday's daydream.."

But I kind of do want to spend the rest of my days in yesterday's day dream. Sometime about that seems incredibly appealing to me. Living out my dreams in the only place where they will ever come true 100%.